You...probably don't know me but I'm going to this because I can.
HAPPYHAPPYBIRTHDAYY IMADEYOUACAKE
BUTINEVERFOUNDTHEEGGS SOIWENTWITHAFAKE
HOPETHATYOUDONTEATIT IDONTWANTYOUTOCHOKE
IBROUGHTTHEDRINKS IHOPEYOULIKETHECOKE
NOWQUICKLYBLOWOUTTHECANDLES BEFOREITBURNSTHISPLACEDOWN
IDONTWANTTOCLEAMUP ITGIVESMEAFROWN
..Now shut up and eat your cake.